I am the Bloody Fairy

Seems I'm fidel to myself after all! It's been a while that I've written on here. I don't know why I stopped, or at least, I think I know why I came back. I love to write, but no one likes to read me. But if I think harder, I find that there's one thing I never did for anybody but me, and it's writting! So, I'm gonna restart. Uhm, I didn't take a look at when was the last time I wrote on here, but I guess it was time ago. What have I been up to then...?...I'm confused about a boy (Shall I say a young man, hehe), my music project are going fine, I change of program for next fall at college, I have finaly all AFI cds (but afireinside EP), I discovered myself another band to adore which is AIDEN: I definetly am gonna get tatooed with an Aiden design!...I want to form a AFI-coverband, I think I'm gonna restart writting a story, but a total different way than the last time. I want it to be my lifestory including my conception of life, dreams and all. It's gonna be Harcorely romanced. However, I lost my inspiration. I'm gonna let myself express its feeling longer another time.

Let's share a cute smile for everyone,
Love,
xXx

For ages, we've been trying to convince everyone that celebrities are people like you and me. Now that it's understood, they're a little bit more in peace. Fact is, we've been forgotten, the fans, in that story.
For ages, fans have been seen as hysteric people, fake girls and boys who are only trying to look like their idol. But we're more than that and nobody cares. Here I begin my confession.

I'm in love with my idole, I can't deny. I'm in love with him, but not the way you think. I wrote some songs for him. I cry for him. I live for him and I'd die for him. Fact is, I've been worrying for him, but it seems I don't have to. Fact is, it's in my personality.

In his eyes, I'm only a fan. In his eyes, I don't even exist. I would die in a front of him, he wouldn't even notice.

In my eyes, he's a God. In my heart, he's everything. If someone'd screw him up, I'd hit them. Sometimes I wish he was my son. Sometimes I wish he was my friend.

The only thing I would ask from him is not a kiss, I swear. If I could ask him one thing, I'd ask him a chance. A chance to prove who I am. I'd ask him, for once, to forget my status of fan, to see me as a normal girl who wants honestly to know him better, deeper.

I know that if I'd give him a tip, he wouldn't notice and if the same tip was given by one of his friend, he would have listened to them, I know.

I can compare my insane love for him to a prayer and God. Because he's as unreachable as God. I love him, I stay for him, I fight for his Love, but he would never let me show he cares.

I don't want to blame anyone, but to make realize to a lot of you that fans are people like you and him. We have a personality, a life, dreams and hope. However, we're broken by you and your definitions of everything and nothing. The only thing I'm asking now to you is:

Let us Love them as we know how to and let us a chance to at least once reach to them

Bella Edwards
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